Trust Me
by verumficta
Summary: Merlin & Arthur. Merlin is jealous of Hengroen.


Trust Me

Merlin once heard him whisper softly to Hengroen, his hands softly running through the horse's mane. His blonde hair shone against Hengroen's dark brown coat as the Prince of Camelot leans close to his horse's muzzle, his cheek resting on the stallion's soft cheek. Merlin stepped closer, silently, as he led his own all black mare forward.

It was nice to see Arthur confide with somebody, but it still made Merlin's heart lurch and his throat tighten at the sight. _What could Arthur tell Hengroen but not him?_He knew of the pleasures of having an animal companion that passed no judgement or offered any advice. They only listened and that was all Arthur needed right now, it seemed.

But did he not know how much Merlin gives up for him? How much of his own soul and heart is repeatedly shattered and torn apart just to give them to Arthur? How he has hurt himself and the people he loved just to heal him? How much Arthur hurts him with every glance, every accidental touch-

Of course he didn't.

As close as they were to being friends, that would all they could ever be. _Almost friends_. Merlin cringed as he felt his heart shatter a little more as he couldn't help but add; _never lovers. _Merlin is silent as he saddles the horses, going about his duties like the simple manservant to Prince Arthur he was supposed to be.

He felt the anger prick against his skin and stab at his eyes as he swallowed the tightness in his throat. He was sick of it. He felt like his heart was about to obliterate with every breath, every step sent waves of bitterness, discontent and loneliness through him.

"_Merlin! _You _idiot!_ Watch where you're going!"

The sorcerer, manservant, friend, protector of the Prince of Camelot blinked lazily in his saddle as he tries to keep his eyes open as they rode on in the snow returning to Camelot from another ridiculous hunt. He couldn't stay awake- sleep offered warmth, darkness, an escape from the feelings; the pain, the loneliness.

"_Merlin! You- _you really are useless, aren't you!" Arthur slows his horse down and blushes as he pulls his friend off his horse and onto his own. He tucks Merlin in front of him and he feels his heart beat quickly in his chest, his blood thrumming in his veins as he watches Merlin breathe slowly in a deep sleep through pale parted lips.

Arthur stills, watching Merlin's dark lashes flutter against his pale skin as his love dreams. He wanted to- no, he _needed _to- the Prince of Camelot swallows thickly as he presses his own lips onto Merlin's, the sudden heat that flares beneath his skin shocks Arthur at first, but still he presses on, until he feels cold fingers stroking his hair.

He pants long and hard when he pulls away, his cheeks burned, but his heart sang of victory when he watches Merlin blink awake, dazed, equally out of breath, his lips dark red and bitten. "Merlin." He whispers, stroking his lover's cheek. Those blue eyes stare back, darkening as he watches his king lick his lips.

Arthur's breath hitches and he does it again, _slowly,_ as he watches Merlin's face flush a darker read that went all the way up to his ears, but he just glances away, scared. The future king of Camelot frowns, gentle fingers guide his lover's face back to his own where lips meet once again, shy and timid, like all new lovers are.

Merlin is uncharacteristically silent as they near Camelot's tall stone walls. Though they did nothing but kiss, he feels his heart beat with guilt and anguish that once they were back in those prison walls; it might never happen again. Though, Merlin thinks, it might not have happened again anyways. Arthur is a prince; a pratty one, but still- a Prince.

And Merlin was just that. Merlin. Protector and manservant to the Prince. His job was to take care of Arthur, to keep him breathing and his sweet, guarded heart beating. But was it truly too much to ask for Arthur to have a little faith, _a little trust;_ that when he called his name, he'd be there for him?

Merlin feels his tears streak down his face, and he feels Arthur still and bring Hengroen to a stop. "Merlin?" He hears his King whisper in his ear, his breath hot against his cheek. "What do you tell Hengroen that you cannot tell me, Arthur?" Merlin whispers so silently that neither of them are sure if they truly heard it.

It is a while before the King answers, but when he does they are passing through the gates of Camelot. The armed guards nodding at their Prince, the people smiling and waving. "I tell him what he needs to hear. I tell Hengroen to be brave, Merlin." His arms wrap around his lover, lifting him off Hengroen and into his arms as they stand in the courtyard.

The future King of Albion's fingers brush against his lover's cheeks and chin as he pulls him closer; to whisper against his lips for all to see. "I don't tell you, because you already are." The snow falls in white flurries, an invisible curtain that covered the lovers, protecting their promises and secrets that will be etched into each other's skin when night fell.

"I… _Merlin._ Would you… Stay with me. By my side." Arthur whispers against his lips, his bright blue eyes hopeful and scared at the possible rejection. The lovers can feel eyes on them now, but they could not have truly cared any less.

His lover nods frantically, almost butting heads with Arthur. They laugh, breathless from the happiness that cut through them like knives, because this happiness would come with a price; they knew, but they would face the pain another day.

"I'll be right there, Arthur. Until you cast me away."

Merlin watches Arthur nod, but he sees the disbelief in his King's eyes. The worry that Merlin would crush the heart that Arthur had given to him, that he now held in his hands. _"Trust me, Arthur."_ He urged, wrapping his arms around his King.

Arthur raises his eyes and he sees the truth in Merlin's eyes, the _love, _the _hope_, all of which he can never deny. He smiles, and pulls his lover into the castle, whispering.

"_I do. I do. I do."_

But most of all,

"_I love you."_

Merlin cannot help but think as Arthur pins him to the wall of his chambers, hot lips biting and sucking; that he certainly never did any of _this_ with Hengroen.

And Merlin smiles; deliriously happy.

"_I love you too."_


End file.
